


A Place Where We can be Free

by SmeagolMyNeagol



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Catra (She-Ra) Redemption, Confessions, Crying, Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, confessing, self hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-10-02 16:58:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17267915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmeagolMyNeagol/pseuds/SmeagolMyNeagol
Summary: Adora woke with a start, her heart pumping wildly in her chest.She jolted upright, sitting up in bed and peering into the darkness, not sure if she had truly heard the voice that haunted her dreams. Only the sound of her ragged breathing consumed her senses.Surely, Catra was not here, in her bedroom, in Bright Moon, in the middle of the night? Surely not... right?Or, Adora gets a visit from her old friend after the battle at Bright Moon, and some teary confessions are made.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Set after episode 13 of season 1 (the end of season 1).

“Hey Adora.”  
  
The familiar mischievous drawl wouldn’t have sent a shiver down Adora’s spine the way it did if it hadn’t come from the darkness of her room in the castle of Bright Moon in the middle of the night. As it was, Adora woke with a start, her heart pumping wildly in her chest.   
  
She jolted upright, sitting up in bed and peering into the darkness, not sure if she had truly heard the voice that haunted her dreams. The only sound that caressed her ears was the thunderous bellows of her staggering breath, her ever-beating heart audible in her ear drums.   
  
Seconds ticked by, the duration of which she refused to move a muscle, hoping and praying that it was just a dream, that her childhood friend, the source of her heartache, was not currently in her bedroom to no doubt kill her when she least expected it.   
  
She stared out into the darkness of the room, and after a few minutes of utterly suspenseful trepidation, she released a breath, determining that the voice she heard was not that of the real Catra, but was instead the product of her dreams.   
  
Just when she turned back around to curl up and begin another no doubt fruitless attempt at getting back to sleep, she was shocked to feel the warm presence of a body in the spot next to her. The feeling sent her into another jittery episode, and she jumped up and out of bed, or she would have, had it not been for the clawed hand that latched tightly to her forearm.   
  
“N-no, please stay. I won’t try anything.”  
  
Again, Adora was shell shocked, this time at the words spoken in that familiar voice, a voice that had uttered countless insults, teasing words, and biting comments, all of which were always undercut with a raw insecurity she had come to recognize after years of hearing that voice.   
  
That voice was now muttering this helpless plea, the insecurity and blatant longing evident in the very cadence and tone.   
  
“Why are you here?” She spoke firmly, not letting down her guarded position, expecting an offensive retort. She was yet again startled to hear, after a few seconds of painful silence, the other girl’s response.   
  
“I missed you.”  
  
Adora remained in her defensive position, not wanting to give in to those sweet, alluring words, only to be stabbed in the back again.   
  
“I know I-I c-can’t take it back. I know I can’t change myself. N-not now. It’s too late.”  
  
Adora’s eyes were well adjusted to the dark at this point, and with the tiny added light from the moonstone shining through her window, she could make out the glistening of tears on Catra’s face.   
  
That’s when she began to take into consideration the possibility that Catra was being genuine. It wasn’t like Catra was unable to be manipulative; Adora had seen her act coy to get more rations from the cook when they were younger, and there were plenty of times when Catra would act sick to get out of things with the horde. Adora was jealous of her at the time; if she showed that kind of weakness, it would be brutally stamped out of her.   
  
But Catra, often being seen as a lost cause to the horde, was able to get away with such displays without much more than a disappointed sigh and verbal battering.   
  
The thing about Catra’s extent of manipulative behavior was that she was never able to fake tears. She never cried to get what she wanted, and any sign of weeping was hidden from Adora and everyone else. Adora had always known this was because—despite the tough-guy act Catra loved to exhibit—deep down, she was emotionally fragile. It was hard not to be when you grew up in a place as messed up as the horde.   
  
The sight of tears shining in her mismatched eyes had Adora melting in bed next to her.   
  
“B-but I really do miss you, Adora. I h-hate so very much that I do, but I-I-I m-miss you.”  
  
Adora inched closer, her larger frame seeming to dwarf Catra’s, which was currently curled up weakly, her arms clutched around her chest, seemingly trying to hold herself together as sobs began to build and take form in her chest.   
  
“Hey. I’m here. I’m here, Catra, shhh.” Adora, gently and with great consideration so as to not scare Catra away, wrapped her arms around the shaking girl, the hand that was not still caught in Catra’s desperate grip now stroking her unruly hair in a manner similar to how one would pet a tiny newborn kitten. It was logical, as Catra now very much resembled a little kitten; lost and lonely, longing for reassurance of a caretaker.   
  
The sobs that wracked Catra’s frame were now in full swing. She buried her head into Adora’s chest, tears flowing freely.   
  
“I wanted so bad to become something great, and I felt like I was living in your shadow my whole life, and even though I loved you, I began to hate you as well.”  
  
Adora barely heard the confession as it was whispered into her chest, the words garbled by Catra’s weeping. She continually stroked Catra’s hair, her other hand now rubbing soothing circles into the crying girl’s back.   
  
“Shh shh, it’s okay, I know, it’s okay.” The mantra came to her instinctively. No matter what Catra has done to hurt Adora, she felt like it was ingrained into her to forgive the girl, to seek to comfort her in any way possible.   
  
“No, you don’t know! I never told you. And as my hatred and resentment towards you grew, so did my self hatred,” Adora cringed at this. It was hard to hear the confirmation of what she had known but had never been said aloud.   
  
Of course Catra hated herself. Her insecurity reared it’s head in everything she did, but it was still hard to hear Catra address it herself. The heartache and helpless feeling that came with knowing your friend loathed her own existence, but being unable to cure that loathing, was Adora’s biggest regret.   
  
“I hated myself for hating you, because I love you. It’s this endless cycle, and i hate it. I h-hate it!” The sobs began anew, seemingly more damaging than before.   
  
Poor, sweet Catra. The world had taken her and used her and poisoned her, and there was no fixing it.   
  
Sometimes problems don’t have solutions. But Adora had to at least try.   
  
“What brought this on, Catra?” She asked in a gentle tone.   
  
Catra finally lifted her face from Adora’s chest, tears still staining her cheeks.   
  
“I was promoted. Given everything I thought I wanted. But it didn’t erase the empty feeling I felt when I saw you standing in a line with your friends; everything about you just fit with them, and I realized there was never any room for me and there never will be.”   
  
“Catra, that’s not true—!”  
  
“I can’t be good. I can’t. I’m not good. I have to be okay with how I am, and I am not good.”   
  
“Catra—“  
  
“I’ll never be like you Adora, but I always wanted to be,” Catra stared into Adora’s eyes, tears still flowing from them, pain evident in the mismatched orbs. Adora stared back, pain etched into her features. Neither spoke for several moments, the raw emotion passing between them acting as communication enough.   
  
“I always wanted to be,” Catra’s eyes drifted down from Adora’s eyes to her lips, “because I love you.”  
  
She closed the space between them, her chapped lips slotting against Adora’s, and for one moment, it felt like peace. A safety, kept away from the rest of the world. A place where complications didn’t exist, only the embrace of her truest companion, her dearest friend. A place where they were free from it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed. I love this pairing. Catra is the most complex character in the show, and I'm hoping Catradora comes to fruition.
> 
> There may be more to this fic. Stay tuned.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra's inner war wages on as she laments upon the events of last night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this chapter. Set the morning after the events of the last chapter, with time jumps between last night and this morning.

The next morning, Catra was gone.

There was no evidence of the whispered secrets between them the night before, no evidence of the kiss they stole from each other, save for the tingling feeling on Adora’s lips. The silence was deafening as Adora arose from the bed, the loss of Catra’s warm body next to her driving her to get up. There was no reason to prolong what would inevitably be a lonely day as she lamented on the happenings of the night before.

She sighed as the cold feeling of emotional destitution crept through her entire frame, the sadness and helplessness settling deep in her gut and burning in her extremities. Peering out the window, she watched as the sun's light filtered through the clouds, coming to rest on the top of the mountain. Her eyes roved endlessly over the dark part of the mountain side, the memory of last night swirling through her head.

The day must go on. Bright Moon needed fortifying, and a cohesive plan must be established between the Princess Alliance to ensure the continued victory of the Rebellion against the Horde.

She-Ra had work to do. _Adora_ had work to do.

 

 

Catra watched from outside the castle, her vantage point upon the mountainside providing ample view of Adora. Mismatched eyes followed the languid stretching of arms, the elegant movements of a body she used to know so well, those arms that once embraced her and made the darkness fade away, those arms that entrapped her in a cage of safety and whispered comforts.

It was wonderful to not be entrapped by those arms. It was wonderful to not be entrapped by the presence of the girl who was perfect. It was wonderful to be free. Really, it was.

Catra had to keep telling herself that, but it didn’t feel truer the more she did.

Last night was a moment of weakness.

 

 

What was she doing? Catra had felt elation just a few hours prior, when she had been praised and promoted by Hordak, but that elation soon faded after she was left alone.

Adora would have been so proud of her. Surely, she would have, had she been in her right mind. Had she not been poisoned against Catra by those… those princesses and their wholly unrealistic worldview.

The world needed order, swift justice, and control. If the enemies of the Horde died in the process of achieving that order, so be it.

But… Not Adora. God, not Adora. Please.

Catra grunted, punching the hard surface of her cot in anger, anger at her thoughts for betraying her. Her tumultuous emotions seemed to always be at war, but now that Adora was essentially absent from her life, these warring feelings seemed even more out of control.

And it made Catra sick of herself. Why couldn’t she just focus? Adora left her. Her only friend. The only person she ever loved. She left. Catra hated her for that, and for being perfect, and for the recognition she received for being perfect. Catra hated her. Really, she did.

So why did she feel such a loss? It felt like her whole world was fractured. Like no matter where she was, she was never home. It was as if… Adora was her home.

“Rrrrrh. No! I hate her. I hate her! I’ll kill her right now.” She tore up the covering of her cot, ripping the material to shreds in a fit of rage.

She leaped up off the cot, her fists clenched in anger, slipping out of her room and away from the base with catlike ease.

She was going to Bright Moon, and she was going to kill Adora.

 

 

The sleeping face of the object of both her hatred and love had Catra second guessing herself. The war within her heart waged on as she sat atop the ledge of the high ceiling in Adora’s room in Bright Moon castle. Her feline vision provided her full visual of the situation.

Currently, Adora was sleeping, not peacefully, if her fitful grunts and constant fidgeting in bed were anything to go by.

“Why can’t I just kill you… Why are you making me do this…” Catra whispered, not sure if she was speaking to Adora, or to her own self.

“What’s wrong with me…? I…I-I have everything I have ever wanted. I have the favor of Hordak, I defeated Shadow Weaver, I have realized my full potential… so why?” The whispered plea came out with more emotion than Catra was comfortable showing. Her weakness surprised her. “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just let you go.”

The slumbering party provided no response.

“I just want to… I don’t know. I don’t know what I want.” Tears began to form as thoughts swirled in her head, her very being seemed to be split into two.

She peered down at the face of the person lying in the bed, Adora’s features were crumpled and disturbed. Perhaps, Catra thought, Adora was at war with herself as well. The realization that perhaps Adora truly did feel for her spurred Catra’s desire to wake her.

She wanted to know why. Why did Adora do this to her? Why are things the way that they are? Why can’t Adora just… stay.

“Why can’t you stay with me, Adora? Why… Why can’t we just go back…? I need you.”

The face of the girl below her didn’t change.

“I wish you needed me, too.” Catra’s features curled into a bitter grimace as she remembered the sight of her friend, aligned with those princesses. They fit together so well. There was no room for Catra. Never.

She leaped down from her place upon the ledge, creeping silently closer towards the sleeping girl. The desire to confront her, to get these thoughts out of her head, the need to be free, pushed her to say, “Hey Adora.”

The words came out snarkier than she expected, so used to injecting no small amount of malice into those words.

Catra knew the exact moment Adora awoke. After years of sleeping next to her, she had attained the ability to read the other girl so well.

The other girl sat up, and stared right at Catra, their faces a mere foot apart. Catra studied those shining blue orbs, waiting for Adora to make the next move. It was after a few seconds of silence that Catra realized Adora couldn’t see her in the dark. Pfft, weak eyes.

Catra crossed the room silently, her footfalls only audible to her own heightened sense of hearing, as she made her way into the other side of the bed. What compelled her to do such a thing, she couldn’t say.

Adora remained in her upright position on the bed, her frame tense beyond belief, and Catra rolled her eyes at the helplessness of her friend.

Being this close to her again while not actively fighting her, it was… doing things to Catra. The bed smelled like her, and it was so warm. It took her back to those days before Adora’s betrayal, when they were just cadets trying to make do in the torturous environment they were raised in, gleaning comfort from each other.

Catra nuzzled her face into the cushion beneath her, her heart swelling with sadness, curling her lithe frame into herself as though she was trying to hold her body together, trying to stop herself from falling apart.

Adora turned around then, her frame settling down into the cushion, or she would have, had her hand not brushed against Catra’s thigh, her body once again going still, inhaling shakily at the discovery of a warm body next to her.

Catra was about to let her have it, she wanted to scream and yell, but when Adora turned to leave, all she could think about was being left alone in the darkness of the Horde, her only friend ripped from her arms.

“N-no, please stay. I won’t try anything.” And she wouldn’t. Perhaps it was the familiarity of it all that was making Catra weak, but she couldn’t do what she set out to do. Not now.

“Why are you here?” The firm tone made Catra flinch. She felt so fragile and helpless, as though she was a little girl again. She just wanted comfort from the one she loved.

That desire to be comforted broke her walls, and she found herself unable to stop from spilling out her feelings, tears spilling along with her words.

Throughout the whole ordeal, the words “please help me, please help me” ran through her mind like a mantra. A desperate but hopeless plea.

 

 

 

 

The kiss was indeed a moment of weakness. Really, it was.

Catra found her resolve weakening the longer she watched Adora as the other girl woke up.

Apprehension buzzed throughout her frame as she watched Adora peer out the window. Catra knew her presence was hidden in the darkness, the sun not yet risen up enough to expose her place against the side of the mountain, but this logical reasoning was forgotten as Adora’s eyes roamed over the mountainside absentmindedly, her line of vision seeming to linger over the place where Catra was hiding.

Catra met her gaze, knowing somewhere in her head that Adora wasn’t really seeing her, but wanting so desperately to be seen.

Catra could attain the world, and it still wouldn’t make her worthy enough to be seen by Adora in any positive light. She knew it. Adora probably knew it.

Catra was worthless. She was a worthless friend and there was nothing she could do. She had chosen her path, and now she had to stick to it. This resolve made her wince, her insecurity burning in her throat. She would become the woman she always desired to be, and ignorance of her feelings was key to success.

The admission that she would have to kill her feelings didn’t stop her from indulging herself one last time, in the privacy of solitude, where only the mountain side could hear her confession.

“I love you, Adora,” she whispered, before slipping away out of sight, her emotions now more turbulent than ever before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this. I may continue. I really enjoy this pairing. Constructive criticism is welcome, please leave a comment with your thoughts.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora receives some advice from her friends--and comes to a realization.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set the same day as the last chapter.

“My mom says the biggest weakness in Bright Moon is the accessibility of our Runestone.” Glimmer flitted around the room, the walls covered in fortification plans and battle strategies.

“I tend to agree. We can remedy this somehow, but we can’t move the Moonstone. I just haven’t figured out how we can limit accessibility of it,” Glimmer continued theorizing, looking to the faces of the rest of the Princess Alliance at the table, searching for ideas.

Adora sighed, mind wholly occupied elsewhere.

The emotional distress Catra had displayed the night before—her face barely illuminated by the Moonstone in question—weighed heavily in Adora’s thoughts. One question constantly echoed in her mind: why was Catra so opposed to joining the rebellion? She had reason to, and little reason not to.

It would help her mental state, to be sure. Living that lifestyle, constantly on the verge of verbal and emotional—sometimes even physical—abuse brought about by the higher ups in the Horde, it was undoubtedly a violence Adora couldn’t bear to go back to, so she couldn’t imagine how fragile Catra must be feeling, having to soldier on without her.

That was, provided Catra actually did still care for Adora, or did anyway to begin with.

No, Adora couldn’t think like that. Their friendship was real. Catra’s confession last night was real. Adora was confident in that. She was confident that Catra needed her. Just as Adora needed Catra.

“Oh, is this not a good strategy, Adora? What do you think?” Glimmer’s voice broke through her reverie, and Adora realized with a start that she had let her inner turmoil manifest onto her face as a sour expression, which Glimmer must have seen and took to mean that Adora didn’t agree with whatever Glimmer had just proposed.

“I wasn’t… I mean… no, that’s a good idea. Sorry, I didn’t mean any dissent, I’m just tired.”

Glimmer and Bow looked at her worryingly, and the rest of the princesses were staring at her curiously. This was awkward.

“Be right back.” Glimmer said, and Adora expected her to disappear from the room, but the next second, she found it was the both of them that had teleported from the meeting room into her own room; Glimmer must have grabbed her quickly and fled the others so they could have this discussion privately. She was so tired, and it all happened so fast that she couldn’t tell what happened, too discombobulated from the teleportation.

“What’s going on with you? Are you okay?” Glimmer was perched on her tippy toes, peering into Adora’s face, as if Adora’s eyes alone held the answers to her questions.

“You’re not yourself. You’re acting distant, just like you were at breakfast earlier.”

Adora contemplated telling her friend about her visitor last night as she stared into Glimmer’s magenta eyes, eyes so unlike those of said visitor.

She could trust Glimmer. She could. But this was Catra’s secret. Adora doubted Catra wanted anyone to know of her feelings, perhaps not even Adora herself. It was all a very delicate situation, Adora posed, but she didn’t know what to do, and the advice of a friend might be helpful… but how would Glimmer react?

Adora had to be cautious of revealing too much information. There was no need for Glimmer to know Catra had even visited last night, let alone about the kiss. Adora felt her cheeks heat up at the mere thought of mentioning such a thing to her friend.

“It’s okay. I’m okay. Its just been… a lot to think about, you know?”

Glimmer’s eyebrow raised in suspicion.

“You should be happy! We won our first major battle, we protected our people!” Glimmer’s soft hands traveled the length of Adora’s arms, soothing and gentle.

Adora sighed.

“I know. I’m beyond grateful for the way things turned out. I’m relieved you’re all okay.” Adora’s energy seemed to zap right out of her during the conversation, and she retreated further into her room to sit on the edge of her bed, a visualization of Catra’s prone form upon that very bed appearing in her memory.

Glimmer followed her, taking a seat next to her.

“Then what’s wrong? Please tell me, Adora. I don’t like seeing you distressed like this.” Again, Glimmer’s comforting hand came to rub across Adora’s shoulder blades.

Adora remained silent.

“Is it… is it Catra?”

Adora’s head whipped around at that, staring shocked at Glimmer.

“How did you…?”

“I suspected that you… loved her. You probably still do, if the way you’re acting is any indication. It hurts you that you have to fight her. I get it.”

“You’re not mad?” Adora asked with trepidation.

Glimmer just smiled.

“Why would I be?”

“I just… I mean… Catra is… she’s fighting for the wrong side.” Adora seemed to melt, her posture sinking as she spoke of the reality of the situation to someone on the outside.

Glimmer inhaled deeply before sighing, her frame leaning to rest against Adora, head on the taller girl’s shoulder. “I wonder if she knows that.”

“She has to. The way the Horde treated us… there’s no way she can be under the impression they’re anything but evil.”

At this, Glimmer straightened up, brows furrowed as she turned to Adora, face serious, “but didn’t you believe that?”

Adora was taken aback at the question. Didn’t she? But… it was different for her, wasn’t it?

“Yeah, but when I left, I discovered the truth, all the stuff that was kept hidden from me so that the Horde had full influence over me. And that day when Catra and the Horde attacked Thaymor, I told her the truth,” Adora replied, getting frustrated at having to relive that upsetting memory.

“Catra told me she already knew the side we had fought for since we were children was evil. She knows what side she’s on.” Adora collapsed her upper body onto the bed, exasperated.

“Maybe Catra doesn’t think that way.” Glimmer supplied, coming to lay down next to her.

“Maybe she doesn’t see a way to change sides so easily, like you did. Maybe her logic is different from yours, Adora. Look, I don’t know her, but from what I’ve seen, she seems very complicated, and kind of… at war, with herself.”

“It was only easy for me to change sides because I knew the truth, and because I had great friends like you and Bow to show me that truth. I’m totally willing to do that for Catra, but she doesn’t want it in the slightest.”

Glimmer sighed. “That’s what I mean. Maybe Catra doesn’t think like that. Maybe her logic is different from yours.”

Adora stood up and began pacing back and fourth the room. “What does that mean?”

“Maybe Catra is dismissive of your switch because she knows you’re not the same as her, so how can your switch inspire her own?” Bow supplied from the doorway.

“Bow! You were spying on us?” Glimmer leapt up, indignant at her and Adora’s privacy being broken, even if it was her most trusted friend.

“I wasn’t—! The door was open and you were taking so long and I was worried about Adora and—”

“What do you mean that Catra and I are different? Our situation is exactly the same!” Adora interrupted what was sure to be a squabble.

“No,” Bow replied, entering the room fully to stand next to the bed, “its not. You’re She-ra, Catra isn’t.”

“What does that matter? We still lived in the same situation.”

“No, Bow’s right,” Glimmer cut in, “it’s always been your destiny to become She-ra, to join us, but for Catra, she doesn’t have the luxury of knowing her destiny.”

“Yeah, and maybe, in the absence of knowledge of her destiny, maybe Catra decided her destiny for herself. Maybe she figured that her destiny must be with the Horde, since that’s all she’s ever known.” Bow added.

“But that’s not her destiny! We can choose our destiny; even I chose how I would control the power of She-ra,” Adora argued, becoming irate, “I decided that my life as She-ra can’t be one without the influence of my friends.”

“Okay, but what we’re saying is that… how do I put this… Just listen!” Glimmer grabbed Adora’s hand, pulling her towards the bed, sitting her down on the edge in an attempt to calm her.

After a beat of silence, during which they all took a deep breath, Bow and Glimmer tried to get their point across.

“Okay. What we’re saying, is that Catra might think differently than you.” Glimmer began, “maybe she believes the two of you to be innately different, and thus- “

“Thus,” Bow interrupted, “she can’t apply what happened to you, to the possibility of what can happen to her – “

“So just because you joined the good side, doesn’t mean she has that option, because she’s not like you. Maybe there is something preventing her from seeing herself as capable of good.”

“Hmm, but what?” Bow replied, seeming to be lost in the mystery of it, pacing around the room as he tried to come up with a reason himself.

“Can you think of any reason Catra might not think she has the option to be good, Adora?” Glimmer asked, puzzled herself at her own musings.

Adora had gone still since the revelation that perhaps the reason behind Catra’s stubbornness was the very thing that broke Adora’s heart the most. Her insecurity and self-doubt.

It all fit. It all fit so well and Adora loathed to revel in it; in the idea of her friend hating herself so much that she would cast herself away from what she knew was good.

“Is she the daughter of Hordak or Shadow Weaver? Was she cursed to serve the Horde? Is she a robot created by the Horde to serve as its eternal slave?” Bow’s mouth was going a mile a minute, spouting out theories for Catra’s allegiance to the Horde.

“Bow, shush.” Glimmer interrupted, noticing the crumpled look on Adora’s face.

“But I was just-“

“Bow, shush!”

He finally noticed Adora’s face and stopped.

They both stood in silence, watching Adora’s still frame as she sat on the bed, unmoving as her face ran through various emotions, pain, anger, sadness, desperation.

Finally, after several beats of silence, Adora spoke up.

“She… hates herself. She has this… insecurity, its been ingrained in her since we were children.”

Adora lifted her gaze to meet the others, first Glimmer, then Bow.

“She won’t join us because she thinks she’s no good. She thinks she never can be good.”

It all made sense. Catra, being an orphan, had never received reassurance from anyone that she was capable of anything worthwhile for the first years of her life—in fact, the exact opposite had probably been drilled into her—and when Adora had been placed with Catra, the seed of self-hatred had already been planted.

The most tragic part was that it simply wasn’t true. Catra had always been capable of love, of hard work, of persistence. She just… rarely showed that side of herself outside the secret places they made for each other when living in the Fright Zone.

Catra was capable of great things. Of goodness.

And Adora would show her that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed. Leave a comment and don't forget to kudos if you liked! I will continue. There will probably not be too much more. Can't say for sure. I'm just making this up as I go along.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra's plans lead to one final decision, and Adora faces the most painful hardship she's ever experienced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for slightly sexual undertones in this chapter, as well as some graphic depictions of violence and bodily harm.
> 
> Also, there is a very cheesy/cringey line in the dream sequence. I want to apologize for this line, but you know I had to do it to 'em. You'll know it when you read it.

“There’s every reason to attack at dawn.” Scorpia was proposing plans for the Horde’s next step in overtaking Etheria, but Catra was only half-listening.

“That would be advantageous, since they will not have time to regroup,” Entrapta chimed in, “its good to strike while the pot is hot.”

“Pot is hot? What exactly does that mean?” Scorpia asked.

“Well, it’s a figure of speech…” Entrapta trailed off, Catra stopped listening, mind occupied by thought of last night, and early this morning.

Could she go through with it? Her mind flashed back to Adora’s face, baby blues framed by twisted brows, upturned in concern for _her, for Catra._ The thought sent a shiver down her spine.

Adora, so kind, so perfect, so _good,_ concerned for someone like Catra. That was the difference between them. Catra was the type of person to take and take and take, to not care how her actions hurt others, whereas Adora would give and give and give, without a care for herself, to the point of detriment, as long as it benefitted the ones she loved.

“Catra? Do you think using the megatank would be a good idea?” Scorpia’s question caught her off guard, her mind finally catching up to what was being said.

The megatank was just like the other tanks at the Horde’s disposal, except it was _massive._ Catra had no use for it, as its lack of speed would mean it would be useless in an attack on any territory outside of the Fright Zone.

“They’d see it coming from a mile away,” she said flippantly, “and it’s too slow to get out of trouble. Bad idea,” the annoyance in her voice was the result of being interrupted from her previous musings, but she held back on showing her sheepishness.

“…Entrapta just said she has developed a cloaking material that can solve that visibility problem.” Scorpia supplied, looking at Catra with rising suspicion.

There was an awkward silence that spanned a few seconds, during which Catra couldn’t tamp down the sheepish expression that appeared on her face at having been caught not listening.

She had to get Adora out of her mind. That, or quit this path completely. She was letting her obsession get in the way of the only worth she had. Stupid, stupid Catra.

 

 

Adora dreamed of Catra that night. After her talk with Bow and Glimmer, she was feeling hopeful about turning Catra, a hesitant positivity radiating off her throughout the day; even when she went back to the meeting and discussed ways to proceed with the rebellion, she felt hopeful, but alone, in the dark of the night, she felt the pain of loneliness; the ache of Catra’s absence, especially here in this bed, where the memory of her friend was still fresh.

She spent hours tossing and turning, trying to chase her fears away so she could get some sleep, and just when she had put her fears about Catra temporarily to rest, she found herself confronted by that very person in her dream-world.

Catra’s arms were soft, save for the places where little scar-like markings marred the skin. Adora rubbed her hands over those lithe arms, nuzzling into the mess of hair laid out on her bed like a gift.

She showered the feline-like girl in kisses, laying chaste pecks down the side of her face. Catra, in turn, was pliant, open and sweet, wholly accepting the affection, her arms coming up to wind around Adora.

Her face was flushed as red as the cat mask she often wore above her forehead, and Adora kissed those burning cheeks too, which only served to make Catra blush more. Adora laid kisses along the length of Catra’s sharp jawline, inching closer towards the black furry ears that she had always found cute.

Catra turned her face in towards the mattress, shoulders rising upwards to shield her sensitive neck from Adora’s ticklish—albeit welcome—assault. Adora gasped when the little black ear twitched away from her, her lips missing their intended target.

After a few more failed attempts at kissing the twitching ear, Adora resorted to grasping it gently between her fingers, giggling when it tried once again to twitch away and out of her grasp.

“Ah! Adora!” Catra scolded, protest coming out equally shocked and embarrassed. “Too sensitive! That tickles!” Catra squirmed, but her smaller frame was trapped under Adora’s, sandwiched between the taller girl and the bed beneath her.

Adora smirked, stroking the ear gently and bringing her lips to it, kissing the inner furless part, fascinated at the dexterity of the ear.

“I’m going to kiss every part of you.” Adora whispered into the ear, her smirk growing mischievous as it flittered around at the words, no doubt responding to the tickling feeling of her breath.

When she pulled back to look into Catra’s face, she felt her body warm at the sight. The pupils of Catra’s catlike eyes were blown wide, her face even redder than before, mouth agape, and for once, no smarmy retort fell from those lips.

“What’s the matter, Catra?” She taunted, “cat got your tongue?” Adora chuckled at her own joke, even though it didn’t make that much sense, “I’d prefer it if the cat had _my_ tongue.”

Adora leant down to capture those lips with her own, both parties moaning into the kiss.

When Adora pulled back this time, she had to suppress the laugh that threatened to spill from her lips as Catra surged upwards, trying to follow her. Catra looked close to begging, and then, she did.

“I need you, Adora. I need you. Please- “ her voice went from breathy pleading to desperate calls, the sudden shift making Adora flinch back  

“I NEED YOU, ADORA! HELP!”

Catra’s form suddenly faded out from underneath her, and the dream itself seemed to crumble away.  

“ADORA! We need you!”

Adora was startled awake, the heat her body had worked itself up to turning to ice in her veins as she took in the panicked shouts of Bow outside her door, his voice getting louder and louder until he burst through the door.

She leapt up, whipping her head towards the window where a commotion could be heard. She gasped at what she saw, lunging for her sword and dashing out of the room, Bow close behind.

Outside, queen Angella stood under the runestone, one hand outstretched towards it, creating a forcefield around it, the other pointed towards the forest, attempting to hold off the massive tank trying to break through. Glimmer was atop the mountain on the border between the forest and Bright Moon, caught in the electric field of Catra’s scepter.

Adora rushed through the halls, nearly slipping and falling in her socks, cursing when she realized she was still in her pajamas.

When she finally exited the castle, taking note of Glimmer, who was now cornered by Catra against the mountainside, she transformed and leapt up with her sword drawn, the twinge of fear for Glimmer spurring her on.

“Catra, let her go!”

 

 

The plan worked like a dream, at first. Entrapta’s cloaking device ensured the megatank was shrouded for the duration of the journey to Bright Moon. Scorpia was advising the troops on the plans for battle once they arrived. There were only a few, just enough to operate the tank. The plan was so spontaneous that there was barely enough time to make it work. But the speed of the attack was what would hopefully be its strong point.

Catra pushed down the last vestiges of conflict within her. She would not allow her feelings for Adora to kill the only value she had. She would not lose the only potential worth she might ever possess.

When they were nearly arrived--the sun still low on the horizon, dawn not yet broken--there were no defenses, save for the few pathetic guards positioned around the opening of the lake. The loud rumbling of the tank would alert them to the Horde’s presence any second now, but the only real defenses would not be able to arrive from their respective kingdoms in time before the tank blasted into the Moonstone, taking out the powerful force once and for all.

When the alarms started to ring, Catra slipped from the tank to fight off whatever defenses came from the castle. The guards were fought off by Scorpia, but the Archer was proving to be a more difficult opponent for the scorpion princess, and just as Catra was about to combat the queen, who had rushed to the defense of the Moonstone, she was intercepted on the mountainside by Glimmer.

“Get out of my way unless you want to die.” She snarled, the mere sight of this girl reminding Catra of how she was basically a replacement, Adora’s new best friend.

“I don’t want to fight you, but if you’re not going to listen to me, I’ll make you!” Glimmer retorted, strong resolve burning in her eyes.

Catra had had just about enough of this interaction. It was time for some lights. She pulled out the electrifying scepter, unfolding it and wasting no time in striking, catching the princess of guard, her short frame crumpling to her knees.

“Hey…” the princess gritted out, “I’m… trying… to help… you…”

“No one can help me.” Catra grimaced.

“Adora…mmph… loves you…. You know…” Catra froze at the words, eyes widening. There was a strange glint in the princess’ eyes, as though she could see right through Catra.

Catra decided she hated it.

“Shut up. Shut up!” She ceased the electric freeze, grabbing the shorter girl by the arms, pushing her up against the rocky side of the mountain.

The way this princess was looking at her, with pity instead of fear, made Catra sick, and the worst part was, she wasn’t sure if she was sick of Glimmer, or sick of herself.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about, you have no idea!” Catra snarled, shaking violently. It was only when a gentle hand lifted to her face, wiping away at the moisture that had spilled from her eyes, that she realized she was not shaking in rage.

“She loves you, and she’ll stop at nothing to save you.” Glimmer yelled, her voice nearly drowned out by the loud sound of the turbines in the tank being fired up. The way she said it is what got Catra. So matter of factly, as if there was no other possibility. That it was coming from the person who was essentially her replacement in Adora’s life, well, that was just the cherry on top of this garbage cake.

“Glimmer!” Catra tore her eyes away from her captive to look behind her where Adora’s voice had come, only to be met with a sucker punch, one that knocked her several feet away. From her place on the ground, she peered up at Adora, in the form of She-ra, standing near Glimmer. The sound of the tank’s weapons charging proved too loud to hear what was being said, but Glimmer was gesturing wildly, and Adora was pensive.

Seeing them together, that same unbearable feeling of inadequacy roared within Catra. This wasn’t worth it. Catra could live a thousand years as the ruler of Etheria, but she still wouldn’t get over the feelings of worthlessness. Of marginalization at being abandoned by her only friend. Of being at fault for her own marginalization because she chose this path herself.

As the despair settled deep in her gut, she realized… there was nothing left to live for. The ear-piercing whine of the tank may have been all-consuming, but her mind had never been clearer. Catra had no purpose like this.

She just hoped Adora could forgive her… before she forgot Catra altogether.

She leapt down the mountain, losing her balance halfway down and stumbling the rest of the way, hitting her hear on rocks as she fell. She knew the sound of the tank based on the tests that had been conducted in the Fright Zone during its development. She knew it was close to firing.

It was aimed right at the Moonstone. For whatever reason, she couldn’t let it make contact.

She grabbed hold of the massive barrel, anchoring herself between it and the base of the tank. Up close, the pure unadulterated energy radiating from the massive weapon had her whole body screaming in pain and sensory overload. She felt the blast as it flew from the base towards the barrel, and with all her might, she shoved it as hard as she could, pointing it away from the Runestone.

Pain was all she felt then. It was like a nightmare where she was lost in an endless void, where the possibility of anything except pain was nonexistent. There was only agony.

 

 

“She’s wasn’t going to hurt me!” Glimmer screamed, her voice barely audible above the whining of the tank.

“She would have! I know what I said yesterday, but I won’t allow you to get hurt just because I love her!” Adora screamed back.

“She wouldn’t’ve! She’s just hurt, but I was getting through to her! You don’t have to fight her!” Glimmer was gesturing wildly towards Catra, who, thanks to the punch from Adora, was sprawled out on the ground, fresh tears in her eyes.

“I love you too, Glimmer! Maybe not in the same way, but I don’t love you any less!” Adora yelled back.

“If you just talk to her, you—look out!” Glimmer shrieked, pointing to the tank, where Catra had somehow slinked off towards.

In the seconds that followed, Adora watched in horror as Catra was blasted off the tank’s shaft, her body going flying in the opposite direction of the blast.

The blast itself, a massive ball of pure energy, broke through the barrier the queen was holding up around the border of Bright Moon, but missing the Moonstone entirely. It veered off, missing the whole of Bright Moon, flying far into the distance before eventually landing in the ocean, producing waves that rippled back to the shore soon after.

At having her barrier broken by the blast, the queen collapsed, barely able to sustain the barrier she was holding around the Moon Stone.

“Mom!” Glimmer rushed towards her mother.

Adora was in a daze as she leapt down the mountain, rushing into the forest, following the damaged branches Catra’s limp body tore off when she was thrown from the tank.

Adora’s mind was like a black whole, sucking in everything only to return the thought, “where is she, where is she, _where is she?!?”_

She recognized that someone was following her closely but didn’t have the concern to spare. Her only thoughts were on Catra.

“Catra! Catra! _Catra!!!!_ ”

She saw her then.

Her body was soaked in blood. Her extremities were twitching, seemingly by their own accord, and Adora realized that it was the remnants of the energy blast coursing through her neurons, making her muscles spasm uncontrollably. Her breathes were labored, and each exhale was accompanied by a whistled whine, as if her very lungs were crying out. Tiny deep cuts littered her once-pristine skin. She laid upon the ground, like some sort of _offering_ to the forest, to death.

Adora would not let death take her.

She reached out, with her mind and soul, to the First Ones. She hadn’t been successful at healing Glimmer of Shadow Weaver’s spell, the one that had plagued her a mere few days prior, but this, she would not fail at.

Catra’s life depended on it.

She reached far and wide, her mind entering the recesses of the galaxy, stars flittering across her vision, searching for the ancient power to heal.

Her body moved on its own while her mind was occupied, coming to rest next to Catra’s supine form, making the hard ground her home.

There was the most beautiful color dancing across her vision, but when she tried to grab it, it slipped away. She focused all her energy, pleading with the universe, searching for that strange color once more.

She gasped when she got a hold of it, her mind gripping it like a lifeline, her desperation acting like a net, capturing the knowledge for herself.

It was as if she had been blind before, like she was living her whole life looking through isinglass windows, vision obscured, and now, she was truly able to see. The power was raw as it coursed through her veins, so hot she could get lost in the exploration of it all.

Her eyes flew open, no time to lose.

She leant over Catra, hands lifting the girl’s face closer to her own, she had little time to reflect on the fact that her own hands, her whole body in fact, was glowing bright blue. Adora leant down close to Catra’s face, before exhaling warm breath of life onto her skin, sending with it the plea that Catra would heal.

Suddenly, there were others there with her. Scorpia knelt next to her, her eyes full of tears, Entrapra was there as well. Bow appeared at the edge of the place where they were knelt, breaths coming in harsh from running. When he saw the scene, he stopped and paled. Glimmer appeared close by, rushing over, only to stop dead in her tracks when she took in the sight.

The spasming stopped, and Adora felt her heart drop.

“No. No!”

She couldn’t tear her eyes away from Catra’s bludgeoned form, the sounds of the gasps and cries of the four other people in the clearing rolling right off her, as though she was numb.

Catra’s last act was in service of goodness, Adora thought bitterly. She had been good all along, but the evilness of the world tricked her into thinking she could never be.

“I’m so sorry,” Adora leant over her again, holding the bloody face with the gentlest of touches, “I love you so much, Catra.” Adora pressed her lips to Catra’s split and unmoving ones, her own trembling as she laid one final kiss to her friend’s lips.

Catra wheezed, her lungs sucking in air violently.

“Oh god, oh god, Catra!” Adora cried, cradling her friend’s head gently to her bosom.

It would be many days before Catra regained consciousness.

 

But she was alive. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed. There will definitly be one more chapter, maybe two. The last chapter might be a little steamy though, so I am considering posting it as a follow up fic, and not another chapter to this fic, because I don't want to run the risk of younger readers already having bookmarked this story, thinking it would stay PG, only for me to change the rating so I can add some smut. If there is any sexually charged epilogue to this story, it WILL be added as a separate work rated M or E. 
> 
> Don't forget to leave a comment and kudos if you haven't already. I love reading all your wonderful comments.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra’s path has been expanded, and she finally feels free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very sorry for the long wait. I hope you enjoy!

For days Catra was unconscious. Her lithe frame remained still as a leaf upon the pink sheets of the care ward at Bright Moon. And for all those days, Adora too remained, though more lively than a leaf but not by much, she dutifully watched over the girl, all but dead to the world.

 

As those days went by, the bludgeoned form upon the bed began to heal, slowly but surely, the deep cuts coming together to seal the vessels within.

 

It was on the eighth day that Catra awoke.

 

 

 

 

 

“I brought you some peppered acorn squash, and Queen Angela had Dorisia make a delicious sweet bread this morning.”

 

The voice was familiar in some way, but at the same time, not. It was a soft timbre, gentle in tone but masculine in nature. It was the first thing Catra registered when she came to.

 

Then, ah, the pain registered. And damn it if it wasn’t intense beyond even the harshest of punishments Shadow Weaver had inflicted upon her back before Adora left. Catra couldn’t move, couldn’t shift in discomfort—which was probably for the best as it most likely would have only brought more pain—all she could do was process the sensory information coming in from both the outside, and from within her battered body. She found she didn’t even have the strength to open her eyes, and her thoughts barely allowed for the concentration to do so, her mind muddled and confused, thoughts jumbling into one another nonsensically.

 

“No, but thank you Bow.”

 

And suddenly, everything was all about that voice.

 

Adora.

 

Catra felt her heart pound, elation mixing in with her delirium at the sound of that voice.

 

“Adora, you need to eat. It’s been two days!” The gentle voice of... it must be that young man who followed Adora everywhere along with the mauve-haired princess, Glimmer or something. What did Adora just call him? Bow?

 

“You need to take care of yourself. The healers are doing the best they can for her. But you neglecting your health isn’t going to make things better.” Catra only processed half of what was said, the rest seeming to blur in and out of auditory focus.

 

“No, thank you Bow.” This voice cut through Catra’s focus like a knife through butter. So self-assured and strong, and yet, so despondent.

 

“I can’t eat right now. Not when she’s... not until she’s better. I can’t. I just can’t.”

 

The terrible inflection of pain in that voice had Catra’s heart aching as much as her body, though the meaning behind the whole conversation evaded her higher cognition.

 

She heard Bow sigh regretfully, and then, “Glimmer is working on that fortification spell, but we need your insight on this. Scorpia has been really helpful with everything about the horde, but now that she and the others have gone rogue or whatever, there’s only so much information she has on what Hordak might do next.”

 

“I’ll join you as soon as I can. I have only one priority now. This isn’t a negotiation, I’m sorry, Bow.”

 

Catra was beginning to fall in and out of consciousness, but from the little her brain could process had her in shock. Scorpia and the others had relinquished? For what purpose? Was Catra being used as leverage by Bright Moon to keep them compliant? Surely Scorpia couldn’t care for Catra’s life that much... And... Adora’s priority? What could that possibly mean? It couldn’t mean... Catra herself?

 

Such questions were what lulled her aching head to sleep as she slipped into unconsciousness again, this time not awakening again until nearly a week later.

 

 

 

 

Every day Adora visited her. Sometimes those visits lasted so long into the night and proceeded into the morning that they ceased to be separate visits anymore; she was spending all her time in the care ward at Bright Moon, sitting and watching with baited breath at every bandage changed by the nurse, every near-imperceptible twitch of Catra’s ears, every fluttering breath passing into and out of her lungs.

 

It was beginning to feel like torture. This was Adora’s punishment for failing her friend. She had to watch the only person she loved with the deepest part of her heart be stuck in an unconscious state, her injuries so bad they caused her mind to retreat into the dark recesses of her subconscious.

 

Adora had to watch as the bandages on those arms were peeled off every two days and replaced with fresh ones, the interval between these procedures allowing her to see the extent of the damage done to her friend. Those arms that had often held her lovingly in secret, hesitant and shy but so strong, those arms that had hit and cut her with emotionally backed savagery. Those arms were now cut and bruised beyond recognition.

 

She had to watch and be tortured through the same process when the nurse did the same to Catra’s torso, back, and legs, stripping the bandages off, cleaning and applying cranes, then re-bandaging them up all over again.

 

Adora had to watch. Had to experience this torture, a pitiful bit of pain in comparison to what Catra had to go through. What Adora had put her through by means of Adora’s failure to save her.

 

The days blended together. There was only Catra. Adora was on autopilot for anything else. She was asked for by the alliance just once, two days after everything had happened. But, after declining, it seemed Glimmer realized Adora was useless until Catra healed.

 

Sometimes Glimmer or Bow or Angela or even Scorpia or Entrapta would come to the ward and sit next to Adora. Neither party would say a word, just watching with painful trepidation and hope for Catra’s condition.

 

This pattern continued for days before any sign of improvement in Catra’s mental state was evident. Her body was slowly mending itself together, improving with each time the bandages were changed, but Catra remained unconscious.

 

 

 

 

The first thing Catra saw was white. It was painfully bright. She could tell she was looking at the ceiling of whatever room she was in based on her body’s orientation, but sensory information gave her little else in the ways of clues about where she was. She tilted her head just slightly, then inhaled sharply through her nose. That hurt. She shifted her body up the bed only to whimper in pain. Every muscle in her body felt as though it had been taxed beyond maximum.

 

Still, she tilted her head to the side, eyes adjusting to the light. There was a set of doors at the end of a narrowing hallway several feet away, but she could hear no bustling noises coming from them. She must be out of the way of regular traffic.

 

It was clear she was in Brightmoon. But where in Brightmoon, she didn’t know. Glancing around with what little vantage she had given her current unwillingness to physically move, she noticed the beautiful decor of the room.

 

Flowers decorated one side of the room, reds and oranges, her favorite colors. Beautiful tapestries littered the walls, weaves together to show scenes of princesses in various poses.

 

Catra must not be... in prison then? Surely even a princesses prison couldn’t look this nice.

 

Confused thoughts flittered through her head, Catra wondered where the hell she was and what her fate would be.

 

She had failed and she had no purpose or value or—

 

Her despairing thoughts were interrupted by a shifting sound next to her, the location too low for Catra’s eyes to reach without moving her head.

 

Catra felt her breath speed up as the shifting increased in intensity, before the sound suddenly ceased entirely. Catra could feel eyes upon her prone from, a presence inching closer and closer.

 

Adora’s face graced her field of view like a gift, and Catra cried out at the sight.

 

Adora seemed to take in Catra’s form, tears springing to her eyes.

 

“C-Catra?! You’re awake!” She leaned in over the bed, careful not to jostle the injured girl, kissing her forehead.

 

Catra cried out again, blinking furiously to stave off the tears that obstructed her vision, “Adora!” She rasped.

 

Adora pulled back but was stopped by weak arms winding around her shoulders.

 

“Adora... please don’t leave me.” It was too much to ask for, Catra knew. But she never wanted anything so badly as she wanted Adora and her miserable state of health only increased her desire for comfort from the other girl.

 

Adora’s brows knitted together at that, and Catra braced herself for a well-deserved rebuke, but the other girl didn’t move away or berate her. She spoke softly, running her hands along Catra’s cheeks, as though Catra were a treasure and not a useless treacherous ex-friend.

 

“Always.” Catra heard the other girl whisper as she drifted off into sleep, her weak arms growing heavy around the other girl’s shoulders, pain radiating through them from the small bout of activity.

 

“Always.”

 

Catra has dreams of being happy, of being someone who could make Adora happy. Of being good. What nice dreams they were.

 

 

 

 

 

The next time Catra awoke, it was to the sound of a rumbling dining cart pushing into the room. A plump lady in a white uniform was behind it, pushing it into the room.

 

Catra groggily turned her head to watch her approach, trying to discern how much time had passed since she had last been conscious.

 

It felt like a few hours, and the sun was no longer shining into the room as it had been before. Still, Catra felt immensely better than before. She turned her head the other way and noted that it didn’t cause nearly the same amount of pain as it had before.

 

Glancing around the room, Adora was sat next to her, facing Catra’s bed. She was sleeping, her hand curled up under her chin, legs smushed uncomfortably under her lap.

 

“Hello there! Heard you had woken up. Are you feeling up for some food?” The woman with the cart said upon approaching her bed.

 

It took Catra’s mind a few seconds to understand what was said.

 

“Uhh... what?”

 

“Would you like something to eat? You have been out for a while now with only that terrible hospital supplement to fill you up. You must be starving, a tiny little thing like you! And you’re healing, you need to eat, dear.”

 

The soft eyes that shone with nothing but kindness had Catra stunned, unable to answer the question.

 

“Oh you look very confused! Don’t worry dear, no one will hurt you. My name is Dorisia. I do all the cooking around here. I can make anything you could ever dream of eating.” The lady, Dorisia, began setting up a tray that reached over Catra’s bed, centered slightly too high for her to see over. Dorisia began piling different morsels atop the tray, each one more extravagant than the last, detailed little things on colorful plates.

 

“I didn’t know quite what you would enjoy, so I made all of Adora’s favorites for you to sample, just so we can get some food into you.I had a little help from the princess in making these, such a dear she is. Eat up. Then! When you’re feeling better, we can try all sort of new things to find out what you like.”

 

Catra’s head was spinning at all the delicious smells wafting from the tray, still to high for her to use.

 

“I’m so excited to have a new friend to try all my recipes with!” Dorisia continued to babble, seemingly unbothered that Catra was still as confused as ever. “Those friends of yours were very kind when I served my Fillet Mignon with shaved carrot and basil, so appreciative! Princess Scorpia was delighted at the strawberry shortcake I had made for dessert. The trick is to treat the shortcake more like pound cake but bake it as you would a soufflé—“

 

“Wait!” Catra rasped, “Scorpia is here? Is she... okay?” What was going on here? Why was Scorpia here? Catra vaguely remembered discovering this sometime, but the memory was vague, blurry and barely retrievable. Was Entrapta here as well? Were they all leverage against the horde?

 

“Why... yes my dear. All your friends are here. They saw what you did and... they didn’t want to leave you. Up you go!” Dorisia grabbed her under her arms, at which Catra grunted, still sore but not as sore as when she first woke up.

 

Dorisia carefully shifted Catra up, propping pillows behind her back. She placed several utensils on the tray, each one a gleaming silver.

 

“You have some wonderful friends. All of them came to visit you while you were sleeping, I believe those,” she gestured to the bouquet of orange flowers in the corner of the room, “are from Scorpia and Entrapta. Yes, you certainly have some wonderful friends, dear. But... I don’t need to tell you that, surely.” She looked pointedly to Adora, still slumped in her chair, asleep.

 

“How long has she been there?” Catra asked, eyes not leaving the blonde.

 

“Since... since your injury, sweetie.”

 

“And how long ago was that?” Catra asked frustratedly, dread building up in her stomach at the thought of Adora wasting away in here with her.

 

“That was... about two weeks ago.”

 

“Two weeks?!?” Catra whipped her head towards the lady, trying to recall the passage of time as it apparently occurred, but her mind had no recollection of two weeks passing since her injury.

 

“Shh, my dear, shush!” Dorisia hushed, not unkindly, her eyes now locked onto Adora’s sleeping form. “She has been in here nearly constantly since then, and what’s more, she barely eats or sleeps.”

 

“But... why?” Catra turned to look at Adora once again, “why, Adora?”

 

Dorisia sighed, “love. I can’t say I blame her. I have done some crazy things for love you know, a young lad was once smitten with me, and I was very much so with him as well, and over time it only became deeper. His name was Rodney, and he—“

 

Catra turned out the rest, eyes studying her sleeping friend intently, trying to understand.

 

Why.

 

“—but that was a very long time ago, and now that we’re happily married, he promised never to do something so reckless again. Of course our love is still as intense as then but it’s nice to not have to engage in such melodrama anymore, ah my sweet Rodney—“

 

“Why? Why Adora?” Catra reached out a shaky hand, brushing the blonde locks from Adora’s face.

 

“Well I will leave you to eat! Please let me know if you would like anything else. If you get a craving for something you liked to eat back at the horde, I’m sure I can make it taste exactly the same! I will see you tomorrow.”

 

Catra was startled out of her reverie, turning towards the woman who was nearly at the door by now. That last part struck her with how kind the offer was. This woman was willing to make anything, even disgusting horde gruel, if it was what Catra wanted. She didn’t, of course, but that act of kindness, the kindness that flowed from the woman in waves, struck Catra’s heart.

 

Who was Catra to her? Some horde whelp that two weeks ago had tried to kill them all. Had tried to destroy this woman’s life and the lives of everyone here. And yet... such kindness was shown to her.

 

“Thank you.” She whispered at first, the words feeling shy and weak, “thank you for your kindness, Dorisia,” she proclaimed louder, desiring with all her heart that this woman know how much such kindness meant to Catra.

 

Dorisia smiled back at her, nonchalant as if she gave away this type of kindness so often. “Of course, dear. You just get all better now!” Dorisia curtsied cutely before rolling the cart out of the room, leaving Catra in the silence, alone save for the sleeping girl on the chair next to her.

 

“I wish I could show the type of kindness she’s shown me.”

 

Catra signed, ripping a grape from the pile of food on the tray in front of her, eating it solemnly while staring at Adora.

 

“I wish I could show you the same kindness you’ve always shown me.”

 

Catra was starving, but the food upon the tray was lite and not very filling. Catra assumed that was necessary because apparently, she had been fed small amounts through a tube for two weeks now. Her stomach was probably as weak as the rest of her right now.

 

She finished the food which despite being lite, was delicious. Adora’s favorites may be her favorites as well... Adora always picked the right choice...

 

Her eyelids felt heavy so she sank back down into bed, turning on her side despite the slight pain it caused her, to watch Adora.

 

She fell asleep studying the lines of the other girl’s face.

 

When Catra woke up, it must have been very late at night, or early in the morning. The sun was not out, and there was no trace of light to be seen in the room save for the glow of the moonstone filtering in through the window. Catra’s eyes adjusted well, her superior vision lending her visibility in the limited light.

 

She looked at Adora, who was still slumped over her chair. That wasn’t right. Catra sat up with some difficulty, the bandages around her limbs and torso shifting uncomfortably against her skin, before swinging her legs around the other side of the bed. She stood carefully, willing the dizziness that pervaded her to vanish, then crept carefully around the bed and towards Adora.

 

Getting the girl up and into her bed was difficult with her injuries, but Catra managed it. It helped that Adora was only slightly taller than her (a fact that had always annoyed Catra back in the horde, though Adora had never used it against her, it made Catra feel small and childish in comparison). If Catra tried to move seven-foot She-Ra like this... no chance.

 

Adora immediately melted into the bed, her frame seeming to relax into the sheets and pillows.

 

Catra slid in next to her, curling herself around the taller girl, hissing as the pain of exertion left her extremities and the muscles in her torso.

 

Catra started up at the girl next to her, unsure if she would appreciate waking up next to Catra... but Catra was desperate to wake up next to her.

 

She fell asleep hoping tomorrow would bring an opportunity to redeem herself, to be the person Adora would want to wake up to, and not the kind of person who caused her so much suffering.

 

 

 

 

Glimmer was hard at work. No form of spell work existed that could adequately heal Adora’s friend without requiring some difficult administrative treatment. Glimmer was hoping to find a solution that could heal the girl as fast as possible, but many of the spell books required either dangerous treatments or impossible-to-find ingredients.

 

Adora had been lost in her grief for nearly a week now. At first, Glimmer had thrown herself fully into trying to determine what the next strategic move against the horde should be, but after several days, she decided that Scorpia, Bow, and the princess alliance were doing very well at that. Her mother had taken over working on the fortification spell, and had made significant breakthroughs.

 

Glimmer decided that the best use of her time was ensuring She-Ra could fight if the need arose. She visited Adora, but after that first visit she knew Adora would never be ready for any fight as long as Catra was on the mend.

 

So Glimmer was hard at work trying to find the best treatment. She had a spell for big cuts and bruises, for head injuries and blood loss, but nothing would quite work for someone whose entire body was bludgeoned as intensely as Catra’s was.

 

Glimmer often visited Catra, using the sight of suffering as inspiration to continue working for a treatment for the poor girl.

 

And after several more days, she found it.

 

It was simple really, but simple things can often evade the mind when one is searching for answers to complex problems. This spell would have to be administered through food, specifically foods with high lipid content. The care ward’s feeding supplement was not high enough it fat, so Glimmer went to Dorisia for help.

 

She loaded as much of the spell content into the dishes as she could, hopeful that Catra would be awake enough to eat them.

 

Glimmer had heard she was awake a few days ago, enough to speak, but she hadn’t woken since then and hadn’t eaten anything.

 

But now, maybe she could. Glimmer watched as Dorisia rolled the dining cart out of the kitchen and towards the ward, hopeful.

 

 

 

 

 

Adora awoke slowly, feeling more well rested than she had in two weeks. Every fiber of her being felt serene. Warmth flowed into her body from an unknown source. She snuggled deeper into the bed, closer to the warmth.

 

“Ow! Don’t squeeze so hard, Adora.”

 

All of a sudden adora remembered her predicament. Or rather, Catra’s predicament. Her eyes flew open only to be entranced in the line of sight of two mismatched eyes right in front of her.

 

If Adora had been more observant instead of blindly horrified at having just squeezed her injured friend in her sleep, she would have noticed the trepidatious look on Catra’s face, but in her current state Adora wrote it off as pain in response to being squeezed.

 

Adora leapt out of the bed, circling around it to come closer to Catra’s side, inspecting her bandaged from with wild concern.

 

“Are you okay? I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize I had—I must have sleep walked into—“

 

“It’s okay, Adora. I’m fine.” Catra was sullen.

 

“Oh god, are you in pain? I-I’m so sorry, Catra. I’ll get the nurse—“

 

At that, Catra’s face light up with alarm.

 

“No! Don’t leave! I mean... you don’t have to feel obligated to me.” Her sullen mood returned, and she sat up, angling her body towards the other side of the room, away from Adora. “If you want to leave, please do. Do whatever you need, whatever you want.”

 

Catra looked so downtrodden, even more despaired now than she did when she was first injured, if that was even possible.

 

“Thank you for all you’ve done for me, Adora.” The expression of gratitude was sincere but laced with unbearable solemnity.

 

Adora’s heart lurched. So. Catra was distancing herself for whatever reason. Adora harkened back to her initial realization about Catra’s self hatred.

 

“I don’t want to leave you. I’ll never leave you ever again. I just wanted to make sure I didn’t hurt you.” She made sure to keep her tone serious but light, as though mere words would scare the other girl away.

 

Adora was so scared of chasing her back I to emotional turmoil.

 

“Let me take a look.” Now was her only chance to fix this, it seemed. She had to repair the ever-increasing divide between them that began with her defection, a necessary act, but one not without casualties.

 

Catra considered her for a moment but ultimately Adora began removing the bandages on her arms without another word from either party.

 

“I’m sorry for squeezing you, and for... sleeping with you. I didn’t even realize... I’ve been doing this for so long and it’s never happened before but I guess I just got so tired that I must have stopped thinking rationally and—“

 

“I pulled you in.” Catra’s eyes were focused pointedly away from Adora’s, ashamedly looking anywhere but the other girl as she cut through the bindings holding Catra’s bandages together.

 

Adora said nothing, perplexed. Pulled in where?

 

“I pulled you in the bed last night. Or early this morning... I don’t know.” Catra’s face was aflame, red staining her cheeks and even the inside of the tips of her ears. “I wanted you close and I wanted you comfortable and I thought you wouldn’t mind but I understand now that it was wrong and I’m sorry for wanting you when you’re you and I’m me and—and—I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry!” Catra began weeping, pulling her arm away from where Adora was working on the bandages, covering her face with her arms like an abused child, trying to hide from the world.

 

“Catra, hey,” Adora knelt in the bed, inching close enough to pull Catra into her embrace, running hands through her messy hair gently. “I would never reject you for that. I wouldn’t reject you before and I won’t reject you ever.”

 

Adora felt tears spring to her own eyes as she held the shaking girl. She struggled with what to say next, emotions coming in heavy and raw.

 

“You’re so wonderful, Catra, and you’ve always been wonderful. And now all of Etheria knows it.”

 

Catra paused at this, withdrawing from the other girl’s embrace to stare up at her in teary confusion.

 

“What... what do you mean all of Etheria?”

 

Adora smiled, her own tears still falling silently.

 

“It wasn’t She-Ra that saved us from destruction. It was you. It was your sacrifice that saved Brightmoon and simultaneously gave us the ultimate advantage over the horde. We have two new additions to the princess alliance as well as new citizens of Brightmoon who are willing to defend Etheria from the horde.”

 

Catra stared blankly into Adora’s eyes, sizing up these claims, incomprehensible in every way to her.

 

“You’re friends have joined us, we have the horde’s weapons, and we have Etheria’s savior... you.” Adora looked nervous, “if you can find it in yourself to join... the girl who left you.” Adora swallowed painfully, breaking the eye contact between them to look down, herself now ashamed.

 

“You’re the smartest person I know. You have the know-how for battle strategy, and you’re so driven. We need you.” Adora met her eyes once again, hope peaking through her anxiety, “I need you.”

 

Catra stood stock still, barely remembering to breath. Such praise had never been given to her. She was never told that she was smart, that she was capable of being anyone’s savior.It felt like the world was spinning around her, like her whole existence had lead up to this moment, this moment when she was bestowed the reassurance she had always been dying to hear. Those sweet words that fell from the lips of her true love struck something within her.

 

It was as if she was born anew, as if the path she was walking, one where she was surrounded by self hatred and doubt, revealed a new path, one not without these things, but with—for the first time in her life—some form of recompense, of forgiveness from her wrongdoings. Of hope.

 

Her fingers felt tingly with the overpowering sensation of hope. As she stared into Adora’s eyes, she began to realize that perhaps Adora was right all along. Catra was capable of good things, of being someone’s hero.

 

Adora was always right.

 

“I’m—maybe I’m— maybe I’m not so bad,” Catra’s tears were renewed but this time they were not in despair, but hope.

 

Adoran laughed breathlessly, her own tears still falling, “no, you’re not bad at all.”

 

Adora shimmied closer to her friend, wrapping strong arms around her, enveloping the smaller girl in a protective embrace.

 

Sweet nothings were whispered between the two, though to the two who spoke and heard these things, they were much more than nothing.

 

 

 

 

 

After what seemed like hours of beautiful quiet exchanges of words so sweet and yet so truthful, Adora had set about to the task of removing Catra’s bandages, again.

 

“This part is a bit stuck, will you hand me the scissors?” Adora asked, working on the binding around Catra’s wrist.

 

Catra rolled her eyes good-naturedly, protracting her claws on one hand and skillfully slicing through the bindings.

 

“Oh, well excuse me.” Adora laughed, mock-offended. “Do you feel very sore? You probably shouldn’t be moving around so much. Though I suppose that’s my fault for exciting you.” Adora said, regretfully.

 

“Yes, you do very much excite me.” Catra snarked, a smirk curling her lips.

 

Adora scoffed, a blush dusting her cheeks. “You’re ridiculous,” she giggled, biting her lip, embarrassed.

 

“Hmm, I think you enjoy me more when I’m ridiculous. But to answer your question, I actually feel a lot better. It only hurts when I stretch too much, or when a pretty girl squeezes me too hard.”

 

“Oh god.” Adora covered her face, red reaching down her neck and up to her ears.

 

“But truth be told,” Catra continued, sly smirk becoming even more pronounced, “I like it when you squeeze me. Why don’t we continue where we left off this morning?” With that, Catra settled back into the bed, pulled Adora by the wrist along with her.

 

Adora rested between Catra’s legs, desiring not to hurt her friend but unable to resist Catra’s pliant body and suggestive demands.

 

Adora leaned in close to Catra, breath mixing with the other girl’s, the stare between them increasing with intensity as Adora inched closer to Catra their lips met.

 

Both girls sighed at the feeling, slotting their lips together, Adora’s hand traveling down to grip one of Catra’s thighs, her other had traveling up to gently stroke a furry ear.

 

Catra moaned into the kiss at the sensation, her own hands winding around Adora’s shoulders. She could feel her bandage, which had previously been cut, fall off, but paid it no mind beyond that, too lost in the sensation of kissing her best friend-turned rival-turned lover.

 

Adora pulled back, whispering Catra’s name like a prayer. Catra’s hands traced Adora’s face.

 

It was then that Adora noticed Catra’s arm.

 

“What—what happened?” She started, startled at the sight.

 

Catra looked at it herself, noticing the fading yellow color. “Ew, it’s all bruised up. I guess that happened during the... fight.”

 

Adora’s shocked expression didn’t dissipate. “No, it was much worse! It was nearly black as night yesterday when the nurse changed these, and now it looks like it’s almost completely healed!” Adora sat up, inspecting Catra’s arm before reaching for the forgotten scissors on the bedside table, cutting the bandages off the other arm.

 

“This arm looks even better, there’s hardly any bruising at all!”

 

Catra began slicing off the bandages around her torso, peeling them away to reveal her abdomen, which was in much the same condition as her arms.

 

“This is incredible! It’s like you’ve undergone months of healing in a matter of hours! How is this possible...”

 

“Hope were not interrupting!” A voice interrupted at the door.

 

“Bow! Glimmer, come look at this. Catra has healed almost fully since yesterday!” Adora beckoned the two in, though they didn’t look surprised in the least.

 

“Hi, I’m Bow. I don’t think we’ve officially met. I’m a huge fan of how you saved us and came back to life.” Bow said cheerily, holding out a hand to Catra.

 

Catra looked stunned at first, but a bewildered smile broke across her face as she accepted the handshake.

 

“And I’m Glimmer. We have met, but under less than stellar circumstances.” Glimmer grinned, not an ounce of malice in her presence.

 

Catra held her hand out towards Glimmer.

 

“Ah ah, we hug around here!” The mauve haired girl swooped in, wrapping her arms around Catra’s slight frame, who was once again stunned momentarily, before melting into the embrace.

 

“You were the one... who was there. You... thank you.” She smiled, face knitting into gratitude.

 

“You guys! She healed so fast! How can this be?”

 

Glimmer giggled at Adora’s incredulous face, and Bow sighed knowingly, meeting Catra’s eyes with a smile.

 

Sitting there with the three of them, hearing Glimmer explain how she used a spell to help her heal, watching the gratitude flower over Adora’s face, listening to Bow explain the whole process with glee, Catra felt for the first time like she was where she truly belonged.

For the first time, she felt like she was in a place where she could be free.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading. Please let me know if you liked it. I may write a single chapter sequel as either an epilogue or a less than innocent Drabble about events that happen after this.


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